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A Statesman's Speech
One morning I was elated to watch a leader of ours making a speech on the idiot box claiming to be the saviour statesman of our doomed country that I have now regained my lost confidence about our country's future. Here is the excerpt from what I can recall of the beacon of hope:
My fellow Nepalis, my fellow loyalists!
With profound humility I am proud to be self-nominated as the Great Statesman of this country which was writhing under the agony of the lack of one. It was a pity that no one deserved to be the statesman of this great nation, but somebody has to take this responsibility, and I am proud that people have recognised me as the only human being in the country who is qualified to handle this office. For this I salute you and thank you.
As we all know, the most critical challenge facing our country right now is the war on terror. But you need not fear as I have come to rescue you. In fact, terror is essential. If terror prevails there will no longer be any need to worry that nearly every Nepali lacks adequate health care, cannot find a decent-paying job. It is thanks to the terror that the overgrowing population of the country is being right-sized not only through elimination but also through banishment, be it to the jungle or abroad. Though I always hated war as does Sister Nirmala, I am committed that war will continue till I am the Great Statesman of this nation because it is only war that actually makes Nepal safer and stronger. Peace comes from the strength and strength comes only from the barrel of a gun, not from ballot. Therefore, even balloting has to take place under the protection of the gun. Thus peace and war are twins. Sister Nirmala should learn this.
Based on my own observations and in all fairness I must say that the current administration has been doing all the things right and I'm happy because I don't believe in doing things left. I will rather do the things more than right.
Meanwhile, it is enough if we are able to secure our country for the next two years. We need not worry about the security beyond that as by then the country will be self-secured. The election to the municipalities held recently indicates it clearly.
I would also like to put on record here that the Nepali economy is not at the crossroads, it is at New Road right now and enjoying the dazzle of this tinsel road in the heart of the capital. Therefore, we don't have to worry about turning right or left, we just need to put our foot on the accelerator. Then Qhe sera sera, if I may borrow from Doris Day's hit number. If the Lord Pashupatinath wants it to crash, it will, otherwise not. How can we interfere with God's will?
Recently there was a finance ordinance announced with duty cuts. I congratulate the minister for introducing this excellent idea. As you may recall, we have been continuing with the duty cut in all other fields. The government employees are enjoying the duty cut for quite a long time and we also came up with the duty cut idea for the journalists though they are still making unnecessary noise against it. This concept is working excellently in the education fields where we have cut the duty of the teachers and the students alike. We will do it more in the future so that there will be duty cuts in the national life.
For too long, Nepal has arrogantly gone its own way without considering the lessons learned by other countries, other governments, other civilizations. Nepal needs a leader who will not be afraid to look to other countries for ideas about the best ways to handle our problems. I expect we have much to learn from our supporters. Thus, I have already established a task force to study the African economic miracle. I believe that with innovations based on their labour laws, business model, their health care system and their laws regarding the treatment of prisoners and so on, we can lead Nepal into a new age of prosperity very soon.
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