VOL. 04, NO. 22, May 13, 2011 (Baishakh 30, 2068)

By ABIJIT SHARMA

Just before writing this piece, I thought I would attempt something different this time. Making a departure from what I had been doing in these columns over the past one year, I thought of becoming, what many may call, a poor man’s Vinod Mehta – the larger-than-life editor of the Outlook magazine. Now there are primarily two reasons why I decided to go the Mehta way. Firstly, I have been a great fan of his Delhi Diary. .I has been an avid reader of the popular column. I find the writer’s way of expression and style very fascinating. Secondly, with my Delhi University board exams just round the corner, to tell the truth, I had very little time to prepare for an opinion.

Formalities

Speaking of exams, I had to report to my college in order to collect the admit card just a few days back. Now, anyone would expect a reputed college associated with an equally reputed University to have a proper management and administrative system. Well, that doesn’t quite apply to Delhi University. Collecting admit card was somewhat similar to the experience I had had in ‘Maalpot Karyalaya’ in Chabahil. The administrative office actually gives you a deja vu of a government office in Nepal: unresponsive paan-spitting, lazy, overweight babus, dirty and unmanaged rooms and rush of people every second. When I first went to the designated room, I was asked to go to another one. Upon reaching there, I again had to run to another officer. It actually took an hour and a half before I got the admit card in my hand. Happy with my ‘achievement’, I asked one of the officers why so much fuss to give out just an admit card? Chewing paan and taking a sip of tea he said, “Formalities hai bhai, puraa karna padta hai” (its formality boy, you have to complete it)!!

FIR

I had been to Nepal for a few days during my study break and upon arrival in Delhi, I found out that I had left my college ID card back home. I had heard that making a new card is a harrowing experience. Nevertheless, I had to. So, I called up my experienced friend (experienced, I say because he has lost his a couple of times already) to ask about the procedures for obtaining a new ID. To my surprise, he asked me to go the Police Station and report an FIR. ‘What, Police Station? That too, to make a new ID card? And FIR sounds heavy. It was as if I had been beaten up and my ID card stolen!'  ‘Chill dude’ was his reply. He was actually serious: once you lose your ID card, you have to go to a police station to report an FIR. The FIR then has to be shown in the college and only then will you be able to receive a new card. So, I went to a local police station. I had never been to one before and I was expecting a typical ‘Police Station scene shown in Bollywood movies. Fortunately , the police officers unlike my college administrative officers, were quite kind and helpful. My FIR was ready in a matter of minutes! I was quite delighted to receive such response from the police officers. I have pledged therefore to have a kind heart for police officer in Hindi movies and not to get excited any more when he gets beaten up or conned up by a cool hero!

Stress Buster laden

With the mercury rising in Delhi and my hectic preparation schedule, I must say the last few days have been quite stressful. During one of my study sessions, I received a couple of SMS jokes from my friends which helped me relieve a bit of my stress. It was right after Bin Laden’s death was announced. The first message read “Osama has died ! Well , at least he got to see the royal wedding before he went out!!” Another one: “This is good news for the other guys on the top 10 wanted list – finally they get to move up in the rankings.” Hilarious!