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How to Delay paying bills
By Madan Lamsal
Once a foreigner asked me why Nepal is still lagging far behind in development despite having so much natural as well as human resources. I told him that this was a great secret and the planners and economists of so called developed countries don't understand this. However, I could not hide the secret any longer as he pressed me further.
So I explained that we Nepalis deliberately delay everything, even the development. We have decided that we will embark on the path of development only when all the other countries are exhausted their capacity to develop any further and thus developed a 'development fatigue'. Actually it is similar to USA conserving its oil reserve for future use when the oil reserve of all the other countries is exhausted. In similar fashion, we Nepalis too are reserving our development potential for a future development spree.
Since the secret is already out, let me explain it in a bit more elaborate fashion with an example from our financial management so that the people of other third world countries breaking their body in the struggle to catch up with the developed world would benefit from the knowledge.
In fact, it is not only development; we want to preserve everything for the future. We want to do it at the last as we take the sweet dish at the end of a dinner.
For example, take our financial management. One fundamental secret of Nepali financial management is delaying the payments which ultimately help the nation to retain its resources for future use. And the Nepali companies are following the National Agenda of Delaying Everything, including the payments, with a missionary zeal. Here are some of the proven methods:
l Wait until the suppliers send the bill for the third time. Then write (never phone, or send e-mail - writing is slower) and ask why you haven't received any invoice from them. Demand a written reply (not email) for your auditors.
l Ask for an ‘itemised account’ but don't explain what you mean by ‘itemised’. When you receive the invoice, write back saying that it was not what you had wanted at all.
l Send a cheque with figures not matching words. When they call to complain, send a corrected cheque - but omit to sign it.
l Send a copy of their invoice with a torn corner of cheque stapled to it. This will start a frantic hunt for your missing cheque. When you eventually hear from your supplier, delay further while you check with your bank. And all the time they'll be apologising to you!
l Tell them that your cheques require two signatures and the other signing officer is on prolonged sick leave till the next month.
l Send a cheque for the wrong amount or made out to a completely different (fictitious) company. When they call, promise that you will sort it out, but will have to track down how the mistake occurred and contact the other company to get the cheque back.
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