a game of dice

By Pragya Rajouria

A fragment of what you felt,
Of what you knew,
A formula, a phrase
Remains, but the best is lost
Tell me, what else should I have done?

I look at my watch. It’s just eleven, nearly noon. Four more hours for my little darling to return home. The very thought of her makes me smile. That little one is really picking up the game of dice. I take out the dice set and arrange them on the floor. The ivory dice set have become smooth and shiny with years of use. It belonged to my grandfather. It’s one of my dearest possessions. It’s the sole memento of my childhood. The three long dice feel cool against my fingers. My grandfather, father and uncles had all loved playing it. Now all of them have passed away. So have my contemporaries. I can’t remember when I last met a friend or at least a person of my age group. Perhaps they too have become prisoners within the four walls of their own homes.

It’s a lonely affair to survive your younger siblings and almost everyone you grew up with. I feel alone amidst a houseful of family members. I do not know how my wife feels. We do not communicate on such matters. In fact, I have never really talked about feelings with her all my life. She is still the captain of our household but I do not know when it was I lost my grip over household affairs. I had once been the breadwinner of the family. I don’t remember when my sons stopped listening to me. My words were law once but I am simply ‘ignored’ these days.

Last time I told my son to sell off his car but he refused politely. Every time I see him off with that vehicle, I can’t rest in peace. The fear of an accident never leaves me till I see him return. When I tell my adolescent grandsons not to blare out their records when I say my evening prayers, they increase the volume instead. Youths today have become simply inconsiderate. And the clothes my young granddaughters wear! They almost have nothing on when they go out.

I wonder why people these days build verandahs and terraces in their houses. Our old style house was much safer. My sons pulled it down and built this new concrete thing. My little grandchildren lean over the veranda and grin at me whenever they see me. It simply gives me the fright of my life to see them up there. But the little brats just ignore my warnings. When I shout at them and tell them to move away, they get bolder. Their mothers are worse than their offspring. They do not understand my fear nor do they reprimand those little terrors.

My world centres around the courtyard and the house I live in. These days my family do not allow me to go out anywhere unescorted. But hardly anyone is willing to accompany me. I turn to books for refuge but my failing eyesight bars me from reading for more than an hour a day. I seek comfort in prayer but it does not cure the ache within me. I ache for the company of people. I want to hear people talk and to be heard as well like in years gone by. Everyone finds my ideas antiquated. No one would sit with me and chat willingly. Well, not everyone.

My child is back home. My waiting hours are over. I can hear her voice downstairs. Her maid has brought her from school. In a minute she’s here in my room with her radiant smile and twinkling eyes. She flings her arms around my neck and kisses me most tenderly. "Granddad I have so much to tell you today," says my child enthusiastically. "I know you do my precious," I reply, holding her to my heart.

smoking second hand

By Hom L. Shrestha

The US Center for Disease Control confirmed that second-hand smoke causes 3,000 deaths from lung cancer and 62,000 heart disease deaths in U.S. nonsmokers every year.

Effects of second-hand smoke on coronary heart disease have received increasing attention over the past years. The 1994 Scotland study has found that coronary heart disease mortality significantly increased in second-hand smokers as compared with controls, and a dose-response relationship was identified. The second-hand smoking in children increases the risk of death from coronary heart disease by approximately 25%.

Second-hand smoke exposure of young children via their mothers’ smoking is associated with increases not only in the internal dose of ETS (cotinine), but also in the biologically active dose of the carcinogenic (PAH) components. The dose of nicotine received from fathers’ smoking was estimated as equivalent to the active smoking of 30 cigarettes a year, that from mothers’ smoking as equivalent to smoking 50 cigarettes a year, and that from both parents smoking as equivalent to smoking 80 cigarettes a year.

Children are more susceptible than youth and adults to the effects of second-hand tobacco smoke, and cotinine levels found in the saliva of smokers’ children indicate that in households where both parents smoke, the children are receiving a nicotine equivalent of smoking 80 cigarettes a year.

The several past studies in developed countries and one pioneer study in Nepal conducted by the then Mrigendra Medical Trust has shown positive correlation between parental tobacco smoking and pneumonia in infants and children 0-2 years.

Presently, in Nepal, there are 60-80% men and 62% women tobacco smokers. Similarly, 31% boys and 35% girls adolescent (10-19 years of age) are tobacco smokers. The average tobacco smoking initiation age is 13 years old. There is no data about the prevalence of second hand smoke among non-smokers (infants, children, adolescent, youth and adult) in Nepal as there has not been a study conducted till now.

In Nepal, the highest level of exposure of tobacco smoking in home, public transport, roads, cinema hall, stadium, school, and hospital is common. It has been dangerous for infants, pregnant women, young children and old people.

WHO estimated that more than 700 million, or almost half of the world’s children, breathe air polluted by second-hand tobacco smoke, particularly at home.

Secondhand smoke is a mixture of the smoke given off by the burning end of a cigarette, pipe, or cigar, and the smoke by the person who is smoking it. This mixture contains more than 4,000 substances, more than 40 of which are known to cause cancer in humans. Secondhand smoke is also called environmental tobacco smoke (ETS); exposure to secondhand smoke is called involuntary smoking, or passive smoking.

Dangers from inhaling second-hand smoke include: increase risk of lung and other cancers, breathing difficulties, including asthma attacks, increase strain on the heart during exercise, conditions aggravated in those with chronic heart and lung disease, and health risks to infants and unborn babies like damaging lung tissue.

Children and teenagers are most seriously affected by second-hand smoke since developing tissues are more likely to be damaged. Children who live in a smoke-filled environment for several hours a day are more likely to need emergency care for breathing problems, hospitalization for respiratory illnesses, make frequent visits to the doctor for more serious illnesses like: bronchitis, pneumonia, asthma, and ear infections, and, start smoking themselves.

Very young children and those born prematurely or at a low birth weight suffer the greatest damage from second-hand smoke. Children whose mothers were exposed to second-hand smoke during pregnancy often have low academic performance and behavioural problems. Due to heavy tobacco smoking, infants are exposed to secondhand smoke could be at increased risk for Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS).

In Nepal, there is no tobacco-free policy in many public places like pre-schools and schools. These organizations must have tobacco-free policies and strictly prohibit tobacco smoking.

There is no strong tobacco free act that could prohibit tobacco smoking indoors and outdoors national hospitals and centres as well as health-related institutes, social and volunteer organizations, etc.

In Nepal, most of the public and private organizations do not have any tobacco-free policy that effectively protects nonsmokers from involuntary exposure to tobacco smoke.

Separating smokers and nonsmokers within the same area, such as a cafeteria, may reduce exposure, but nonsmokers are exposed to re-circulated smoke or smoke drifting into nonsmoking areas.

Ventilation system should provide the smoking room with 60 cubic feet per minute (CFM) of air supply per smoker.

In Nepal, there is no act to ban tobacco smoking in restaurants entirely. Need to separate smoking areas in restaurants, although most rely on simply separating smokers and nonsmokers within the same space, which may reduce, but not eliminate involuntary exposure to environmental tobacco smoke.

There are laws prohibiting smoking in public spaces in many developed countries and have laws prohibiting smoking in public facilities.

Tobacco smoking and alcohol are common during parties in Nepalese culture and society, particularly on wedding ceremonies. Tobacco is considered as a special gift to offer during wedding ceremonies in Nepalese culture.

Recently, an Australian Supreme Court victory for a Wollongong woman in a passive (second-hand) smoking claim has been labelled a world's first by her counsel. Marlene Sharp developed cancer of the larynx after working behind the bar of the Port Kembla RSL for 11 years. A former barmaid has won what’s believed to be the world’s first damage case for cancer caused by passive smoking. The four-man jury took just under four hours to reach its verdict, after a trial that had taken two months. Mrs. Sharp had told the court smoke at the club would rise up into the faces of bar staff for hours on end during her shifts at the club. She was forced to quit work in 1995 after developing cancer of the larynx, a disease the court heard would have be extremely rare if it were not for tobacco smoke. After the Supreme Court delivered the verdict, it is the first time in the world there has been a successful claim of damages for cancer from passive smoking. Mrs. Sharp has been awarded a total of $466,000.

The Ministry of Health banned the advertising of tobacco smoking via the electronic media to control tobacco use. In fact, the flood of attractive advertisement is rapidly growing eighth folds in newspapers, magazines, hoarding boards after banning the advertisement in electrical medias. The tobacco company sponsored sports, concerts, cultural programmes have enormously increased.

The Health Tax Fund under the Ministry of Health is promoting the anti-tobacco smoking message through television and radio regularly and also supported few tobacco use control programs in Nepal.

The Federation of Nepalese Chambers of Commerce and Industries (FNCCI) and other industrial associations and trade unions, Computer Association of Nepal (CAN) should jointly initiate tobacco-free workplaces in industrial, business, trade and particularly, information technology sector in Nepal.

Public transport associations should initiate to stop the tobacco smoking in their respective public transports.

feeling free at home?

By Siddhi B. Ranjitkar

If you are working for the empowerment of women why not begin at home. I am sure that your daughters cook meals, do domestic chores, make tea for you in the morning and in the evening when you return from work. You never ask your sons do those things not even think of them doing such domestic work. If you really want to empower women then you need to keep both your sons and daughters on an equal footing and sons and daughters should do the domestic chores in turn.

If you are a husband in case of your wife’s death you begin to think of a new spouse and sooner than later you marry a woman younger than your dead spouse whereas if you are a wife and lose your partner you stay at home mourning for a year wearing a white dress. That will not end your mourning, perhaps you will mourn your husband’s death for the rest of your life. Is this justice for women? Why don’t you at least stop donning on the whites, and attempt to start a new life with a new life partner. Why shouldn’t the family members help a widow to start a new life after the death of a husband?

If you belong to a Brahmin, Chhetri or Newar family you think that you should not live on the earnings of daughters. You do not take daughters as bread winners. You take daughters as a burden on your family. You become relieved when your daughters marry. How can you empower your daughters if you don’t see them as your bread winners too? If you really want to empower women then consider that daughters are also as good as sons and do not attempt to go on having children until you get a son thinking that he will only provide for you in your old age.

Again if you are a Hindu you want to go to paradise after death for which you think that you need a son to light the funeral pyre at your cremation. Therefore, you sacrifice everything only to at least have a son so that your ticket to heaven is booked. No one has proved so far whether you go to heaven or somewhere else after death. However, you do not take a chance and you produce a son to make sure that you will be in heaven after death. If you go on thinking this way you will never empower your daughters. Give your daughters equal right to perform your funeral rites then will they get equality

If you live in a joint family as most Nepalis do, you male guys eat first no matter whether it is a morning or evening meal. Most of the time women serve you the best parts of the food they cook. Only then do the female members of the family eat. Often wives need to eat the leftovers of husbands. Some husbands deliberately leave some leftovers for their spouse to eat. Are you not making your dear wives second class family members by this sort of behaviour? Let us stop such family traditions and eat together and share whatever we have equally among us.

Your family becomes happy at the birth of a male child as almost all families do in Nepal. You celebrate the birth of a son with pomp and splendour but you do not when a girl is born. You start discriminating as soon as they are born. Why don’t you give equal treatment to your sons and daughters starting at birth?

You have a tradition of giving a dowry to your daughters when you marry them off. I know some people spend their life earnings to get their daughters married. You therefore think that daughters are a burden on your family but you see your sons as earners because they bring fortune along with their spouses. This is something like buying husbands for your daughters because you can have better educated sons-in-law if you can pay high prices. Are we humans saleable at some market prices? Yes, you are selling your sons to the daughters of someone else. Some people even destroy their daughters-in-law to sell their sons again to someone for higher prices? Is it not a social evil? Why don’t you remove such a social evil from your society? Do not give dowry to your daughters but give equal rights to your property if you want to empower your daughter.

You give great importance to the purity of women. Some people even do not like their women smiling and talking to men because they are afraid of losing the purity of their women. Therefore, we have a tradition of marrying off our daughters at a tender age so that they will not lose virginity before marriage. However, we do not care about what our sons do. We even take pride in our sons marrying more than one woman. You reject your wife if you find something wrong with her; you control not only her body but also every move she makes. Thus you have been seeing women as your personal property. Is this good for a civilized society?

So if we really want to empower women we need to start giving our daughters, sisters, mothers and wives due respect at home so that they will not need to shoulder the heavy burden of social evils prevailing at home. However, neither a single family or community can shoulder the burden of removing such evils from the society nor the government alone can do this job, therefore, civil societies with the support of women’s organizations can gradually remove these social evils. Let us try the most feasible way of tackling the problem of women’s empowerment in this country.

Let all parents treat their sons and daughter equally; let husbands and wives be equal partners in life; let sons and daughters share the household chores equally. Let no one be the boss of another. Let us create an egalitarian society at home to begin with. Thus, we can sow the seed of empowering women at home and then let it grow in the country.

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